Looking out the window, all I see are gray skies. Different tones of gray, but nonetheless just gray.
I was up early enough so that the sky was still pitch black when I came downstairs.
Early enough to see the sunrise. To see the sky go from black to a bright blue sky. But there is no sunshine today. No beautiful golden, yellow and red tones peeking through the horizon as the sun makes its way up. No rays of sun shining over the pond.
Just gray and white. But this is just today.
Today will pass.
And the sun will rise again tomorrow. We will see beautiful blue skies and golden rays of sunshine.
These thirty degree Spring days will leave us. We’ll be able open up all our windows and let the fresh Spring breezes in.
Flowers will bloom, and we’ll go outside. We’ll feel the warmth of the sun and warm breezes.
It just takes a little patience.
So I’m okay with the today’s gray skies. For blue skies and warm sunshine are undeniably in our future.
News, news, news. And then some more news.
I keep watching the news. Morning and nights, and just seem to hear more and more of the same.
I’m not sure what it is that I’m expecting to hear. I’m already well aware of what’s going on and what to expect, yet I keep watching.
Watching and eating. Eating, cooking, snacking.
And then some more news. And some more snacks of course.
I’m not sure, but I think my fridge is sick of me.
My TV too. I think they’re starting to talk about me behind my back.
But at the end of the day, I am very grateful for my fridge, my news and my TV. They provide me so much comfort, and not everyone has these things.
Everyone’s still up bright and early.
It’s usually similar to morning business as usual, but the tension starting build.
In some moments you can feel the frustration.
Despite the excessive amount of free time, sleep is not the greatest.
Being up in the middle of the night with children mounts the tension as well.
And after so much time so close together, you would think that the kids might get a little sick of us, occasionally want their own space? But no, that is definitely not the case. They are still content to be right next to us, if not on top.
While the love and togetherness is most definitely valued and appreciated, there is still the underlying sense of frustration that sometimes gets the best of us.
So we slow down.
Breathe. Remember to appreciate each other. Remember to be grateful for all we have.
Even when we are feeling on edge, we remember that we are in this together. We remember to be grateful for all we have, and not the tension eat away at us.
Not today at least. Today I am grateful. Today I will remember to place my gratitude over my frustrations. I will slow down and find joy in the little things.
Spring Break. I’m sure so many people everywhere are feeling a bit jilted at the moment. The timing is interesting, to say the least.
It’s easy to start thinking about where we would be. What our plans were. Where we are now in our new normal.
When I woke up this morning and looked at the clock, I couldn’t help but instantly think about how I would be on a plane, just taking off at this very moment. We would be headed to sunny skies, warm weather and a full week of vacation.
But letting these thoughts in will not do anyone any good. If minds are going to wander to where we could be instead of home, well then this could also go in a very different direction. There are far worse places to be than at home with family. There are so many people in less than ideal situations at this point in time.
I am home, healthy and with loved ones. We have each other, our home and our health. So I will gratefully stay put, here in my sanctuary.
I try to focus on the positive. To remain grateful.
Not to worry too much and take things day by day.
This morning though, I find my mind wandering. It’s hard not to think about our alternate reality. Where we would be right now, what we should be doing….
Because today is not only Friday, it’s the Friday before Spring Break! Things will be a little crazy at school today. You can almost feel the excitement, it’s so thick. And it will be even stronger this afternoon. Students have been working hard, practicing for today’s talent show. Teachers too! Today is one of my own favorite days of the year. Seeing students out of the academic setting, in their own element, is always refreshing.
And on more personal level, I have my own excitement brewing in my head. My husband just got back into town from a long work trip, so I am very grateful to have him home. And tomorrow morning, 6:00 am sharp, we are off to Cancun! We booked vacation very early this year, so we’ve been looking forward to this six night, all inclusive trip for quite a while now! And of course, the weather in Mexico looks beautiful.
But as we all know, things have a changed a bit in the preceding weeks. So our reality is not quite as it would be. So I try to curb my wandering thoughts and remain grateful for all I do have today.
I had this draft saved and forgot about it. How interesting to look back on how things change.
Just like that he’s in the water. Fully immersed.
How very far we have come! Who would believe that just two short weeks ago he wouldn’t even get in?
Two trips to the pool. Two sessions of dressing a four year in swim gear and successfully getting out of the house and to class on time with two little ones in hand. Only for stern refusal on his part to even dip those tiny toes in the water.
Now here I am, watching him from afar as he barely even realizes that I’m still here. He doesn’t seem to have a fear in the world.
I catch my own breath a little every time he goes under, a little unsteady in the water. Yet the little head pops up every time, covered with a big proud grin.
I am proud and surprised at how quickly things change. And I am sure this is a feeling that I will experience over and over again.
Looking out the window I can see that it’s clearly still dark out. The sun has barely began to rise.
Yet here I am already wide awake, so I decide I’m ready to get up. Time to begin my day.
I sneak out, tiptoeing, do very careful not to wake anyone.
I creep through the hallway and cautiously open the gate. Descending the stairs so very carefully. Avoiding all the familiar spots that I know will creak.
Once I make it to the kitchen, I feel accomplished. I’ve successfully made it downstairs without causing even a stir from anyone else. Not even the dog followed me.
I am thankful that I prepared the coffee last night and can now just hit the button, and voila, I have my coffee! Again, I feel like I’m on a roll this morning.
Now I see the sun rising outside the window of our peaceful, quiet house.
I’m well aware that will last just a few minutes. I’ll be surrounded with my usual crew momentarily.
But I will gladly take a few minutes of quietness and solitude before our day together begins.
Spring is officially here. And here we are, just a few days away from Spring break, whose timing is questionable at best this year.
And what are we doing?
We are bundling up. Finding gloves and hats. Pulling out the snow pants. Snow pants?! Layering up the kiddos to make sure the stay warm and dry.
So here we all are, home on a weekday, ready for a snowball fight. Preparing to build a snowman. It doesn’t feel so strange in the moment. Just a family out playing in the snow. Enjoying the crisp, fresh air. Taking advantage of the fresh, clean snow before it begins to melt.
However, if we start to reflect on the oddness of the situation, it seems like a bit of an alternated reality.
I try not to think about where we would be, or why this is so strange. Instead we just embrace the day and accept this as our current reality.
I think back on a post from just over a week ago. Focusing on the morning mayhem. Trying to get the kids up. To brush their teeth. Get dressed. The usual craziness.
Struggling to get out of the house on time. To get them to school on time.
To get myself to work on time. To have everything prepared for my students.
Always rushing to something.
Now we fast forward a week.
We still have our morning madness. Some things don’t change too much. It’s just a different kind of crazy. An altered battled with the kiddos.
But things have definitely slowed down. We all still have our responsibilities and tasks to take care of, just as important as ever. They have just changed.
So we adapt and continue on with our day. At home.
Maintaining a sense of gratitude can really shift our thinking. Instead of being angry or upset in anyway, gratitude can a shine a positive light on any situation.
So we are stuck in our houses. But we have houses to live in. A home where we are safe. A home that we were able to make our own. That is designed the way we would have it, full of the people and things we love.
Our kids are driving us nuts. Literally driving us crazy with the nonstop neediness, bickering and tattling.
But I have kids. I have two beautiful, healthy, smart and wonderful children. And despite all the frustration, they are also keeping me sane and thankful through this alternate reality that we now live in.
And navigating eLearning is a challenge! Technology is most definitely not my greatest strength. Yet here I am, completely dependent on it to reach and teach my students.
However, despite all my struggles with navigating this new way of teaching, I still have mt job that I truly do love. I am in contact with my students and am available for them. They can reach me, and I can share with them all that I need to.
So as I struggle my way through this new teaching method, I remain ever so thankful that I am still able to teach. That my profession wasn’t instantly eliminated the way so very many were!
Any complaint that I have cannot compare with those that were so unfortunate to lose their jobs overnight.
Or those that don’t have a warm, comfortable and loving home to hunker down in.
So at the top of my list every day is gratitude. And there it will stay.